


Of Winds and Rain

by Strange and Intoxicating -rsa- (strangeandintoxicating)



Category: Final Fantasy XV
Genre: Episode Ignis-Verse Ending, Ignoct Week, M/M, soft angst
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-08
Updated: 2018-02-08
Packaged: 2019-03-15 11:08:06
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,284
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13612077
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/strangeandintoxicating/pseuds/Strange%20and%20Intoxicating%20-rsa-
Summary: On the last night of the World of Ruin, a King and his Retainer come to terms with their choices and the dawn.





	Of Winds and Rain

"Iggy... are you awake?"

Noctis waited for the slight hitch of Ignis's breath that signified that Ignis was very much awake. However, despite his question, an answer didn't come. Noctis hadn't expected one; ever since he and Ignis had gone into the camper to rest, Ignis had been preternaturally quiet. He hadn't even said even a single pun since they ate supper inside Hammerhead, Prompto and Gladio hanging back to reminisce with Cindy. 

There were light clouds in the darkening sky, a hush that fell like soft mist, dust scattering on a faint breeze from the east.

He had spent most of the meal pushing his own food around his plate, the rest of his time spent sneaking furtive glances at Noctis, who pretended he couldn't see. He wondered if the others had hung back because of that, or if there was something else... 

"Iggy?"

No response, nothing but the sound of breath that was far too even for Ignis to have fallen asleep. 

It was so unlike Ignis that Noctis could barely stop himself from outright asking what he had done wrong, though he knew exactly what it was. They hadn't ever the chance to talk, not with the Crystal taking him so quickly. There hadn't been time to explain, to apologize, to promise Ignis that things would be okay.

Ignis had been quick in donning his nightclothes and tucking himself into the bunk on the lefthand side, only managing a whisper of, "Goodnight, Noct," before hitting the nightlight above his bed. He hadn't wanted to talk, hadn't wanted to see Noctis for what he had become.

Noctis knew that he would hear complaining about it in the morning from Gladio, who hated the top bunk, but Noctis climbed into the bottom one across from Ignis.

The blankets in his lap were scratchy and thin, but they were more than Noctis expected when he returned to a world almost completely dark. They were lucky, though—it hadn't truly begun to darken until recently, and the wait had given them time to prepare, time to move refugees and scientists from Niflheim and Tenebrae to create alliances. They had been able to fight against the darkness in his absence—sheets were hardly the most pressing matter at that time. 

He pulled up the covers, curling his hands through the fabric.

"C'mon, Iggy. I know you're awake, even if you won't say so." There was a rippling in the sheets, and Noctis could barely make out the shifting of a limb moving. "You used to do the same thing when I'd come into your room when we were kids... remember? You... don't have to say anything, you know. I just—I dunno. I guess I want you to listen. This might be the last chance to say it."

The intake of breath was worth a thousand words. "I know. What you did—you drove him to the edge. I just have to push him over. Maybe it'll kill me, but maybe it won't. But I know this much... I couldn't have done this, couldn't have done any of this, without you."

Noctis knew it was the truth; the only reason he had made it as far as he had was because of Ignis, because of what Ignis did. It was always Ignis who protected him, who fought at his back, who had fought through all of Altissia to find him. He had even taken on the High Commander and then...

"He told me—Ravus—he told me about what happened. About the alter." Listening to Ravus recount Luna's ascension had opened a hollow point inside of him, a pain that Noctis knew he would never quite fill. He had failed Luna just as he failed his father, just as he failed Jared, just as he failed Ignis. Ignis had survived, only through sheer force of will and the magic of the Crystal, but the fact that Ignis has been willing to die for him was something that stayed with him through every moment, every breath, inside the Crystal.

"I know why you did it. I guess I always knew, but I didn't want to say anything. I figured if I never said anything then nothing would change. I... I wanted to keep things the same, because if I knew then things would be different. That maybe I was wrong and you didn't feel that way. Maybe it was just me hoping for something that wasn't there. I dunno. But if I was wrong, I just didn't want you to hate me—"

Noctis sucked back his next words. He knew he was rambling, that his words were a mess and so was he. The true fear was right there, laid out before him, but so hard to say. It was the reason why he laid awake all those nights in the camp, listening to Ignis's far too steady breath. It was the reason he wished that he could have gathered the courage to whisper the words he knew deep inside were true. He just never had the courage to say them out loud. 

How he wished he could go back in time, wished that he could have had the courage of his convictions. But the Crystal had given him time to reflect, to accept, to understand.

And if this was the last night of his life, he didn't want to go into the Beyond with regret.

"Maybe I'm not the king at all if I can't just spit this out." Noctis's laugh was hoarse, a reminder of a throat with disuse and a chasm he hoped hadn't widened in the ten years of silence.

"I guess what I'm trying to say is, yeah. I know. But Iggy—Ignis. Please. I dunno if I can do this, if I can do what I need to do tomorrow if I don't say this. And I don't want you to hate me, or think I'm lying and that the only reason I'm telling you this because it may be the last chance, but.... for what it's worth, I've always loved you."

Ignis turned in his cot toward Noctis, but Noctis kept talking, knowing if he closed his mouth he wouldn't be able to continue on. 

"When I saw you with the Ring... I felt part of me was dying with you, too. You _can't_ do that to me. I can't do this if I think you're going to—"

Noctis felt his shoulders shake. The insides of his throat were on fire and all he wanted was to choke out the words, those painful and vile words.

"I don't... Ignis. I don't know what will happen tomorrow. I don't know if I will be able to defeat him and live to see the dawn. But I know I can't do this if you're going to do something stupid—"

"Noctis." Ignis's voice was soft like the rain, like the wind. "I promise. I... I will not let harm come to you."

" _Damn it_ , Ignis! That isn't what I'm saying—"

"I know what you're saying, Noct. I _know_."

The words seemed to be caught in an echo chamber of Noctis's harsh breathing and the rain and wind battering against the caravan's aluminum walls. They were not gentle nor sweet, nor the soft morning trickles through the weeping skies. These were the drums of war, the ground calling out for a sacrifice and the skies opening up to deliver..

"I cannot promise you a lie. We both know that."

"That you'd die for me? Yeah—I know that. I know that. And how do you think that makes me feel? That I'm _happy_? That I almost watched you die, and now...I can't do that again. I just can't."

"But if you die, I die."

Noctis felt a wave of nausea spike through his stomach and he had to resist the urge to lose his meal.

"No—no. If I die, you have to _live_. This isn't some game. There aren't restarts. There aren't second chances. You of all people should know that!"

"I'm _well aware_ , Noctis." There was a coolness to his tone that made Noctis finally let go of the blankets, throwing the scratchy sheets to the side. The wind and rain hammering against the aluminum was almost too much to bear.

He found his feet swinging over the side of the bunk and, despite knowing how small the bed was, climbed in on top of Ignis. He forced his knees on each side, straddling the man. There was only the halogen lights of Hammerhead peeking through the plastic blinds to guide him, but it was enough for Noctis to see the plains of Ignis's face underneath him.

Ignis was trembling, eyes wide and hair mussed. The small scar against his lip stood in stark contrast to his skin, his eyes bright—brighter than they would have been had Noctis been a weaker man.  

But Noctis could only remember the metal-gray burns the braided their way up Ignis's face, at his milky eyes, at the twisting and knotting of his veins as the magical fire of the Ring ate through its willing sacrifice.

"I won't lose you again. I _refuse_. Damn the Gods and damn the Prophecy."

Noctis took in a breath. How did Ignis know of the prophecy? And what did he mean— "Again?"

Ignis was quick in his movements, and Noctis found himself on his back, staring up at Ignis's face. His nose was flared and mouth parted, eyes wide. He pinned Noctis's hands down to the bed, staring and yet unseeing. He hunched down, close enough for Noctis to see the ghosts of crow's feet at the corners of his eyes. The frown lines pulled at Ignis's cheeks; Noctis wished they were smile lines, that Ignis had the chance to life a life without burdens.

"I would fight a thousand Ardyns to keep you from what I saw. Do not doubt that for a moment."

"Saw?"

Ignis swallowed and licked his lips, letting Noctis's hands go. "I've overstepped my bounds, Noctis. My apologies."

 But Noctis was not done, instead grabbing hold of Ignis's shirt, refusing to let go. "Ignis. What do you mean 'saw'?" He tried to keep the fear from bubbling up into his throat, thinking of the voice that seemed so much like Luna that had guided him through Zegnautus Keep. "Did you... did you hear her, too?" 

"Lady Lunafreya?" Ignis's words were dazed.

"Are you talking about what she said—the prophecy?"

"Not her words, no. The words of the Gods, the ones that spoke of your sacrifice. Of... of your ascension."

 Noctis bit down on the inside of his cheek, watching Ignis's face. He could see it now. He could see the layer of anguish, the weight of a King's sacrifice heavy upon his shoulders.

Everything clicked into place—the Tidemother's gift, the freezing waters, Luna's magic bleeding into the sky, her goodbye. Waking in silence to find that Ignis was gone, that Ardyn had taken him. Screaming and fighting against his friends to get out of bed, to follow the Chancellor to Gralea, to fight for Ignis.

Ignis. Ignis who was left broken by the Ring and burdened with Noctis's failures. It was all his fault.

"That's why you put on the Ring. You watched me die."

Ignis looked down at him then, his eyes wet and breath shallow. "I—yes. I suppose so."

Noctis had run himself ragged over those days, searching for Ignis, fighting against the Gods screaming in his head and the calling of the Crystal. His Engine Blade had clogged with blood and gore and sweat as he rushed forward, the only thing spurning his mad dash across the continent being his fragile human body. He remembered the moment, inside Zegnautus Keep when he fell down in exhaustion. There was no sun in Gralea, no fire. 

Ravus had called him suicidal and just maybe he was right. The wound from Insomnia hadn't even begun to close when Luna gave her life. After that it became a festering sore, one that Noctis refused to tend until he had Ignis back. And when he got Ignis back, it hadn't mattered. His body was broken, his body shattered. But he still tried. 

He had offered himself willingly to the Ring and the Crystal, all to keep Ignis safe.

Who was Noctis to tell Ignis what to do, to tell him he was wrong, when Noctis had done the same exact thing?

"I'm sorry. I'm sorry, Ignis. I wish you hadn't." Noctis allowed his grip to relax on Ignis's shirt as he slowly slid his hands up Ignis's chest, reached up to cup his chin.

"No." Ignis's voice was firm, absolute. He rested his own hand atop Noctis's. "I regret nothing. I do not regret seeing what the Gods had prophesied for you. It gave me the resolve to refuse, just as I do now." Ignis closed his eyes and the wind and rain silenced. Only a breath, only a mist.  "You will not die tomorrow, Noctis. Nor shall I. Promise me."

His words were calm but Noctis heard the crackling fire underneath, the blazing fury and strength that hid just under the surface. 

"I promise. I won't leave you again."

Ignis leaned down the distance between them, resting their foreheads together. Ignis's breath was wind, his tears the rain. "It's rather rare for you to be so wrong," Ignis murmured as a tear slipped from the corner of his eye, landing against Noctis's cheek. "But I assure you—I have always loved you, too."

And they kissed for the last time in the darkness, waiting for a dawn they would both see.

Together.


End file.
